Every week we have Friday night dinner. I appreciate that most people eat dinner on a Friday night but for the past 15 years we have had dinner with the same group of friends. Every week.
It began 15 years ago with the birth of our son. Up until then we went to the pub for Friday Night drinks with the same group of friends. We were the elder statespeople of the group and the first to procreate.
After the Noah’s birth we fielded many requests to join our childless friends. For a time we took in turns to go out but the reality of 4 hourly feeds hits you hard after a boozy night out with friends. So the domestic goddess that is me (for those who don’t know me there is a heavy dollop of sarcasm in that clause) invited everyone to dinner before their night out.
Everyone would meet at our house, they would bring wine, I would cook food and they would continue on after, in town. This went on for many months and I got very good at cooking for that many people. Eventually everyone felt guilty about me feeding 12 people each week while on maternity leave. I didn’t mind, they brought wine and I got to see my friends each week and partake in grown up adult conversations with people who weren’t sleep deprived, covered in vomit or leaking breastmilk. But alas, the decision was made by the group that they would bring food to my house to cook. It was always at our house so we could put our baby to bed and still partake. Sometimes there would be 4 of us and at others up to 16. And still they all remained childless.
This continued for many years. Until our friends decide that it was time to procreate. At this point, Friday night dinner continued but we rotated venues. Every week a new house. Over the years some people have come and others have gone but the Friday night dinner remains. And it got loud. Lots of kids make it loud.
It means that we make time for our friends. The family we choose. It’s scheduled but not forced, we have a roster but often swap weeks if we can’t make it. Some weeks it’s a four course gourmet meal and others it’s take away pizza. Either is ok. The food is not the point. Getting together is.
Here’s hoping you connect with the family you choose sometime this weekend.